写留学套磁信是为了更高机率得到留学机会,那么大家在选择出国留学的时候,有哪些注意事项呢,和出国留学网小编一起来看看如何写留学套磁信更好。
英文当中文讲
很多咱中国童鞋写的邮件都是拿中文里的语气直接翻译过来的,写在英文里就很奇怪。举个例子:
I applied for the Summer Analyst position at your company's New York office and still haven’t gotten any notice from you. Your company has been my dream employer for years,so it would be a pity if I didn’t have a chance to interview with your company.
读到这儿就乐了,立刻能脑补一个画面:一个中国童鞋一脸虔诚的说“我真的特别喜欢你们公司,如果没能跟你们公司面试真的是太遗憾了!”这话中文听着多有诚意啊,但直接翻译成英文就觉得超级无敌囧。如果你想表达相似的意思,不妨试试这么说:
I wanted to follow-up with you because I have not yet heard back regarding my application status. Your company is my first choice, so I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to interview with your team.
这样说比较符合美国的书面邮件说法,而且显得很淡定。下次记得用用看。
命令的语气
很多同学在邮件里附上自己简历之后会扔一句“Please review my resume”,感觉跟大老板扔了一沓儿材料在脸上似的。下次咱换个客气一点的语气好吗?比如这样:
I would greatly appreciate any advice you have on refining my resume for opportunities in this field.
还经常看到有童鞋这样写:
“I can’t thank you enough for your mentorship and guidance. Let’s stay in touch!”脑补的画面就是被领导拍着肩说’年轻人以后跟哥混啊!’换成这样说是不是好很多:
Thanks again for your mentorship and guidance. I’ll be sure to keep you apprised of any developments on my end, and I look forward to staying in touch.
那些要命的语法错误
这里说的都不是什么虚拟语气啊那些高深的,而是最最最普通的语法错误,拎个小学生过来都能挑出来一箩筐那种。先别狡辩,咱们一起来看个例子,截自一封收到的真实的学生来信:
Hi
I found your contact information from alumni directory.
Please allow me introducing myself firstly. My name is XXX, MSF student from University of YYY. I will graduate from my Master degree from University of YYY with major in Finance. I`m seeking forentry-level position in finance industry. May I know whether your company has opening positions or has plan to recruit in your group?
Thanks for your time. I`m looking forward to hear from you soon.
咋一看觉得还行啊,没那么糟啊,明白他什么意思,也挺言简意赅的。
很负责任的告诉你,大多数美国的HR或者职场人收到这封邮件的人都会直接忽略的。原因就是那些无谓的语法错误。
第一句话就直接吐血了。首先,先不说这句话有没有必要说,正确的语法应该是:Please allow me to introduce myself first.
有同学不好意思的挠挠头,托福,GRE,GMAT都是好几年前考的了,语法早还给老师了,allow somebody是to do还是doing确实不太记得了。
理解。给你介绍一位随叫随到的语法老师:Google。
如果你去google一下,你就会发现“please allow me introducing myself”是完全搜不到任何结果的!反而能搜到不少“please allow me to introduce myself”这个正确的说法。所以说查错真的有这么难吗?没有,只是你懒!
关于这第一句话,再啰嗦一句。这句话完全可以删去,不用跟说评书似的先来句‘上回说到!’,直接从My name is XXX开始一点问题都没有。
咱们继续往下看。下一句话,额,MSF student前面少了个a。而且虹姐再说一句,专业这种缩写建议大家尽量避免,人家哪知道MSF是啥意思啊。你可以写成‘a graduate student in the Master in Finance program at University of YYY."
下一句和下下句的错误都是可以在google一查就查出来的。“with major in Finance”应该改成“majoring in Finance”。再下一句中“I`m seeking for entry-level position in finance industry”应该改成“I am seeking(没有for)an entry-level position in the finance industry." 而且,这句话有些突兀了,尤其在和不认识的联系人第一次邮件,尽量避免提job, internship, position这些比较扎眼敏感的词。你可以用更婉转的方式来表达,比如“ I am looking for entry-level opportunities to start my career in the finance industry"。这就好像你单身,你可以说你是悲催的单身狗,也可以跟人家说你正在期待下一次的缘分。一个意思,不同境界。
最后一句话是最经典的错误了!10个童鞋有9个半都犯过!Look forward to DOING sth. Look forward to DOING sth. Look forward to DOING sth.重要的事情说三遍。还有同学经常写成 I am look forward to do sth.,无力吐槽。这句话可不能再错了啊!!
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