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2021年考研英语:备考作文的拓展解析
两篇看起来大同小异的大作文,为什么一篇老师打了19分,而另一篇只给了15分?
知道这四分之差意味着什么?意味着阅读错了两道题(2道题*2分),意味着完型错了八道题(8道题*0.5分)
而复习这些题你又需要花费多少时间才能提高这个分数呢?
每一分都很重要,听专家的,快速提升主观题成绩,让成功来的更容易些。
考研英语全程班或联报班的学员都有机会学习新东方名师姜丽蓉考前高分必读班,包括作文班、翻译班。详解考研英语主观题答题模式,让你迅速攻克主观题,提高成绩。
下面是本次作文批改的题目以及考研教研员对学员的作文批改范例,是从学员作文中经常出现的1、词汇错误2、语法错误3、句式错误4、主题立意5、篇章结构 等方面进行的批改。
2008年考研英语写作真题
Directions:
Write an essay of 160~200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should
1) describe the drawing briefly,
2) explain its intended meaning, and then
3) give your comments。
第二篇:
Directions:
You live in a room in college which you share with another student. You find it very difficult to work there because your rommate always has friends visiting。
Write a letter to the Accommodation Officer at the college and ask for a new room next term. You would prefer a single room. Explain your reasons。
老师给的批改如下:
Collaboration
Collaboration is of the utmost importance to be human beings.Everybody not only needs chacrect [e1] individual character ,but also demands collaboration 。
As is described in the picture , Though two man who both lost legs that right and left, [e2] they are running to cooperate [e3] each other. Collaboration help[e4] them step out of difficulties. Cooperation is used in our lifves[e5] in generrally .Such as: [e6] business ’[e7] team work ,study partner ,interest group,discution[e8] group, band and so on.They are[e9] all club together。
Help[e10] each other can improve efficiency . For istance[e11] , team work is used in vast majority factorty[e12] in moden life.We always to[e13] see that a process of sweater ,one group disposal[e14] wool, an other team make string, other peoples[e15] change the string to sweater 。(此句错误较多,没有掌握一个。。一个。。另一个的表达法,应为one …another…another)A sweater is made by some people or groups not only (by)one. We is bring around the tabel by foreman, (不理解你这句话的意思)dishes are appeared on table by waiter or waitress , cate is cooked by kitchener, cash is pay[e16] on counter in restaurant.we finished have [e17] dinner in their help[e18] each other .So many things of result[e19] need effort of no-one[e20] .Collaboration is important in life.
To sum up,we should keep collaboration in general .It can help us filish[e21] many things that we can not do it by one.I was convinced cooperation can improve work productiveness in meliorate[e22] life, Help our society will be better palce for us to live in。(此句有误,应改为helping our society to be better place for us to live in。)
点评:你将文章分为了四段,首段对合作进行了阐述,在第二段时才对漫画进行描述,一般来说,这种写法也是没有大问题的。但为了保险起见,我们通常将文章分为三段首中尾最好,首先将漫画的内容描述清楚,然后讨论漫画中体现的合作精神,最后联系实际进一步深化主题。
你这篇文章中出现了较多的语法错误,请你在接下来的写作中引起高度重视,因为像单复数这种错误在阅卷老师看来就是你英语能力差的体现,是不可饶恕的,一旦发现容易给老师留下坏的印象,分数会受影响。
你对漫画深层次含义的讨论还算清楚,举了实例,但语言偏于贫乏,只能算是勉强交差,不能给阅卷老师眼前一亮的好印象,因为通篇下来我没有看到主题句的亮点,没有句式的变化。我们在文章中最好能有一到两句长句,能使我们的文章更加生动、鲜活。
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